SSG Ticklionary: A short list of ticklish definitions

For a more elaborate, but incomplete list of Sainik School Goalpara terms visit the story SSG terms.

EPD: Exempted from PT and drill. Ever had the fortune to watch others do the job of running around? Well, there are certain basic criteria to obtain an EPD. You need to be actually unwell enough to not be able to run around or be a good actor. And secondly, after obtaining an EPD make sure that you watch the activities around you with a ‘sick’ face, or else you never know, anyone might drag you to run, from seniors to whimsical Army Ofiicers.

SDA: I still do not know the formal meaning of SDA. However, what I know is that it’s a group started in the year 2000 that took pride in stealing fruits from the backyard gardens of teachers and exploding the black boots by placing explosives inside them, apart from many others. Group members can be identified by their black scarves and determined eyes. They were our Robin Hoods, who would feed the hungry students for free. The full form of SDA happens to be School Destruction Activists.

Extra Drill: If you ever see Khaki Uniform clad students standing or more possibly running in the afternoon sun, immediately after lunch, make no mistake. They are not practicing to join the army or rehearsing for the upcoming inter house drill. They were probably caught while running to Goalpara or the nearby, but out-of-bound areas like the Western or the PWD canteens. Stories often came up, about sympathetic army subedars, and how they said… “start jumping when the principal or the headmaster arrives”. Though a serious form of punishment, it was lesser in degree when compared to punishments by genuinely angry seniors! And we know of many such friends, who spent more afternoons jumping around than anything else.

Dingi: A subject of awe, that took to legendary proportions. ‘Dingi’ in Assamese translates into ‘neck’. Mr. R.M.Verma was known to thrash students on the back of their neck. The pain is inexplicable in words, even by those who had the misfortune of undergoing it. Do read Kingshuk’s story to know more.

Regimental Dinner: A fancy imitation of an actual formal lavish dinner, to mark an important occasion in the school calendar. It often succeeded in imitating the atmosphere, while failing miserably in the food aspect. A pair of Bagpipers walks around the mess, followed by a grace, and then the food. Hint: If the mess has been serving extraordinarily bad food for a while, its an indication that its doing ‘cost cutting’ to be able to offer a regimental dinner. If you are particularly addicted to bread crumbs with watery chicken soup, check the school calendar!

Time Bomb: It doesn’t tick away to an explosion. It’s a crude time bomb, that seems to go off everywhere around Diwali time. An agarbatti (incense stick) is lighted and is attached to the coil of the bomb. Hidden under the bushes, the louder ones even place under the chairs of Hit List teachers in the mess. BANG!

Old Nine: He walks like a don and acts as if he is one. What sets him apart is that he is packed off to senior houses in VIIIth standard unlike others who reach senior houses in their IXth standard. So by the time their fellow classmates reach senior houses, they are old and hence the term, ‘Old Nine’. Understandably he often considers himself pseudo senior to his own classmates!

Sainik School Terms (A to M)

Back roll: A relatively easy form of punishment, mostly asked to perform on grass beds and on particularly bad days, on concrete floors, where a person has to roll on his back. An easy way is to lie on your back and then gradually lift your legs, until the only portion touching the ground will be the head, before rolling.

Bhaiti: Its literal meaning is ‘younger brother’ in Assamese. The word defines an idea where a senior forms a ‘bhaiti’ from amongst the juniors and apart from chit chats and conversations, often endows the ‘bhaiti’ with generosities like, rights to visit ‘out of bound’ canteens and shielding from punishments.

Bhokla: The khaki shorts that we are issued as part of our uniforms. Perhaps the term comes from the enourmous size of those shorts.

Big Tarzan: The highlight of the obstacles course. Two planks of wood separated by a long rope, each standing on abnormal heights and the aim is to reach the other plank swinging on the rope. After overcoming the fear of heights, the second challenge is when you almost touch the ground while swinging, only to fly upwards towards the other plank. Many drop to the ground, and several of those who reach the other plank, still end up hurting themselves in the groin. Many of us use the term ‘Omlette’ for such injuries.

Crawling: One of the few forms of punishment, which actually helped us in survival. Crawling often entailed that we lie on the ground on our belly and move forward using the elbow. A great way of moving without being detected, most of us have used this technique while on our way from PWD and WESTERN canteens.

Cream roll: When front rolls and back rolls, go out of vogue, some tormentors came up with the idea of a cream roll. While its unthinkably difficult to reach from one point to another performing either front or back roll, cream roll makes it worse. Here one has to do two front rolls, followed by a single back roll and the cycle continues.

Chair position: a form of punishment, where a person is asked to sit on the air, as if he was sitting on a chair. This form can have accessories like, having to draw your hands parallel to the ground and some weights being placed on the hands. It hurts the thighs. Also see ‘Maharaja Position’ below.

Frog jump: A relatively easy form of punishment, where a person jumps like a frog. The real pain comes after a few happy jumps when the thigh starts hurting. People often have difficulty walking temporarily for the next 2-3 hours or even less.

Gandhi position: Perhaps the most ‘un interesting’ and least innovative amongst all forms of punishment in Sainik School. It mostly happens during the initial introductory sessions, when juniors are shifted to their respective senior houses once they are promoted to IXth (in some cases VIIIth) standards. Here one has to climb and stand atop the green steel cupboards and stand like ‘Mahatma Gandhi’ leaning on his walking stick. The only pain from this exercise is the extreme sense of boredom.

Hair cut: A good way of avoiding the ‘dreadfully sleepy’ prep classes in the afternoon. The khaki clad, cycling barber would often be bribed to spare them of his rusting scissors.

Hanuman Chal: A personal favourite of Mr. P.K. Jena. It’s a from of exercise, where a person runs like a mad man throwing both his hands upwards alternately towards the head without bending the elbow, complimented with similar movement of the feet, with minimal bending on the knees. I am not too certain if the mythological Hanuman actually ran like this.

Jungle side: Each House enclosed a quadrangle at the centre. So each rooms would have a line of windows facing the quadrangle. The other set of windows would facing the outside, is called the termed as the jungle side. Its so, as most of these windows would open up to uninhabited land, full of trees and shrubs.

Mess duty: It’s a once in a life time kind of opportunity in Sainik School, where a student (or two) do not have to attend classes, and gets to spend the entire day in the mess. Though the primary aim was to check the quality of food being cooked, it was mostly a day to eat for the resourceful students, esp. if non-vegetarian food was on the menu! Don’t know if it still exists.

Maharaja position: A stylish form of punishment (look chair position above), where a person sits on the air, with one of his legs folded (lifted) on another. A practically unattainable form of punishment, when one hears the posture. But as the motto goes. ‘Everything is Possible’.